Monday, April 15, 2013
Worse Than Judas
I have recently become a little bit
fascinated with Judas.
Intrigued. Curious.
My mind is riddled with questions
about him, his life, and his ministry with Jesus.
We don't know much about him, do we?
He's basically only known as the disciple who betrayed Jesus. The one who gave
over the Christ for a mere bag of money.
But.. There has to be so much more to
his story.
After all, this was a man who KNEW
Jesus. Intimately. For years. He had
seen Him heal the sick, feed the hungry, cast out demons, and teach about God's
kingdom. He was by His side when Jesus fed the 5,000. Raised Lazarus from the
dead. Made the blind see. Cured leprosy. He walked with Jesus. WITH HIM! He
left his former life to follow Jesus just like Matthew left collecting taxes
and Peter left fishing. He gave up everything to be a disciple.
So what happened? Why did he do it?
What circumstances was he under? Was trickery or deceit involved? As
portrayed on "The Bible" series on the History Channel, was he
tricked into thinking that the officials only wanted to have a little chat with
Jesus? Did he really know the gravity of what he was doing? The fact that he
later was filled with so much grief that he went and hung himself makes me
think that he was overwhelmed by the weight and consequences of his decision. Luke and
John both say that satan had entered Judas just before he made the deal with
the priests. A disciple of Christ was possessed by the devil. But how? How did someone who intimately
knew Jesus allow an opening of that size for the enemy?
And then I take my eyes off of Judas
and turn them to the worst sinner I know.
Me.
I realize that I don’t know Jesus as well as Judas knew
Him.
I realize I have betrayed Jesus more than Judas ever did.
And it sinks in that I have done it for so much less than thirty pieces of
silver.
I have betrayed the Man who loves me perfectly, who
sacrificed Himself in the most extreme of ways for me, who rescued and redeemed
me…
And I have done it for less than fractions of pennies.
I’ve done it for the approval of others. For instant
gratification in the arms of someone who loves me much less than He does. For affirmation. For a boost in my self-esteem. For temporary satisfaction. Full of pride and foolishly thinking
that I know better than He does.
And yet… His love for me doesn’t change. His pursuit of my
heart never changes. No matter how many times I grieve Him, His mercies are new
for me each morning. He doesn’t leave me in the pit. He comes down into the
trenches with me, picks me up, and carries me out.
Oh, what a Savior!
Sunday, January 13, 2013
2012 Adventures Around the World
As anyone who reads this probably knows, my 2012 was a tid bit out of the ordinary. I spent the year traveling to 11 different countries, serving and loving and learning more about Jesus. I will be returning to the mission field & to this blog soon, but for now, read about my year and what's going on here:
www.gracehartmann.theworldrace.org
Until we meet again!
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