I have lived a very blessed life. It's had it's share of ups and downs like anyone else's, but looking back, I'd say it's been pretty easy. I have a very loving family. I've never wondered if I would eat that night or if I could continue to pay school fees. I've been told about Jesus for as long as I can remember. And recently, this has been a very hard concept for me to understand. 

In my limited experience on the mission field, I have met people who have truly suffered. I have friends who watched their families hacked to pieces by machetes. I know people who do not know where their next meal is coming from. I have friends who grew up in refugee camps. People that I love have AIDS. I have a friend who is the only living member of her family because the rest were killed by the LRA. My sweet, "adopted" Ugandan mama lost her 3 year old son because he was electrocuted by the fence of a neighbor who was stealing the electricity to run it and had it set to an illegal voltage, and she walked out of court with no punishment. I have held children that have been abused and neglected. I know mothers who have lost every single one of their children to HIV and malnutrition. I know children that have been dumped in pit latrines to die in the sewage.

I listen to their stories. I laugh with them; I cry with them. And I look back on my own life and wonder why I've always had it so easy.

Today this was on my mind a lot. As I look toward the year ahead, I wonder how I can possibly be an encouragement to a woman who has been viciously raped and is now pregnant. To people who have been abused by the church. To girls caught in the sex trade who have never seen what true love is. To orphans that are old enough to understand that they were abandoned. How can I possibly be an encouragement to the persecuted church when the hardest thing about going to church MY ENTIRE LIFE has only been getting up and ready in time?

And then I am reminded. It's not about what I do. It's not about where I go or what I say. It's not about my story. It's about His story. His story shining through mine. My God, my big, glorious, perfect, holy, just and loving God is the same God for me as He is for them. Though the details will be different, He is in my stories as much as He is in theirs.

He will use me to encourage. He will use me to speak peace and comfort and boldness and whatever people need to hear. He will use me to heal. He will use me to bring joy. He will use me to preach the good news to the poor and set the captives free. He will use me because I want Him to use me.


Today He chose to remind me through my Jesus Calling for the day.. Let me share a bit of it with you:

"...however, some fears surface over and over again, especially fear of the future. you tend to project yourself mentally into the next day, week, month, year, decade; and you visualize yourself coping badly in those times. what you are seeing is a false image, because it doesn't include Me... when a future-oriented worry assails you, capture it and disarm it by suffusing the Light of My Presence into that mental image. say to yourself, "Jesus will be with me then and there. with His help, I can cope!" then, come home to the present moment, where you can enjoy Peace in My Presence."

Yes. He will be with me. Even when I feel so inadequate and as though nothing I can say will bring His joy and peace and comfort. Even when my suffering pales in comparison and I don't know how I can possibly be an encouragement... He will use me.

Mostly, He will use me to love on the people that I come into contact with. All of them. The orphans in Haiti. The sex-trafficked women in Moldova. My teammates. The witch doctors in Swaziland. The pastors in China. My squad. The widows in India. People in each country, at every hostel, and on every train.

Because His story.. It's about love.